Why Human Connection Matters More in the Age of AI
What We’re Outsourcing Next
As a recent MIT graduate, I feel a little embarrassed when I look at some of my calculator history. It makes me wonder what we will outsource next. How many of us have asked ChatGPT to reply to a two-sentence email or write a simple thank-you message?
Technology makes everyday tasks easier, but we should also ask ourselves what happens when we let it handle too many parts of our lives.
Eroding Something Much Deeper
I completely understand the appeal of convenience. However, a habit that starts as a simple shortcut can gradually turn into dependency. When we rely on technology to handle even our smallest interactions, we risk weakening something much deeper: our ability to connect with other people.
This dependency can also affect our well-being. Loneliness creates serious challenges for individuals and communities, making human connection an important part of a healthy life.
Loneliness and Its Serious Consequences
Research has linked loneliness and social isolation to an increased risk of premature death. One widely discussed comparison suggests that loneliness can affect health as seriously as smoking 15 cigarettes a day. The World Health Organization has also highlighted the significant health risks associated with social disconnection.
These findings remind us that human relationships do more than make life enjoyable. They also support our overall well-being.
Technology Makes Communication More Efficient, but Less Human
Why do we struggle to connect with one another despite having so many ways to communicate?
We have optimized communication without necessarily improving the quality of our relationships. Social media, political polarization, and the digitization of everyday life have pushed more interactions onto screens. We can now exchange messages in seconds, but fast communication does not always create meaningful connections.
Artificial intelligence adds another layer to this challenge. AI continues to improve its ability to write, respond, and simulate human interactions. As these tools become more capable, we naturally spend more time thinking about what technology can do for us.
However, AI is not going away, and we should neither ignore it nor reject its potential. Instead, we need to learn how to use it without losing our ability to connect with people.
Learning How to Work With People
At MIT, I learned how to work with machines. I studied coding, optimization, modeling, and building technical solutions.
The Skills No One Taught Me
For a while, however, I received little formal guidance on skills such as navigating disagreements, collaborating with people who hold different views, building trust, and understanding another person’s perspective.
Think about the hardest problems we face today. Many of them require more than technical knowledge. They require people to communicate, cooperate, and find solutions together.
Fundamentally Human Problems
As AI continues to accelerate, our ability to work effectively with other people may become one of our most valuable skills.
Machines can help us process information and complete tasks, but people still need to understand one another, resolve conflicts, and decide how to use technology responsibly. In the age of AI, strong interpersonal skills can give us a meaningful advantage.
The Universal Language of Being Human
Over the past few years, I have had opportunities to work and teach in five countries through MIT programs such as MISTI. I have also traveled to nearly 50 countries.
These experiences exposed me to different cultures, traditions, and ways of thinking. Despite those differences, I repeatedly noticed something familiar: people everywhere share a fundamental desire to connect, feel understood, and build relationships.
Our cultures may shape how we express ourselves, but our need for human connection crosses borders.
Connection Is a Skill
Over time, I developed a personal playbook for working better with people. I drew lessons from my travels, negotiation theory, and classes such as MIT’s 11.011, The Art and Science of Negotiation.
I came to understand that connection is a skill. Like any other skill, it improves when we practice it and weakens when we neglect it.
Today, I want to share four ideas that can help us build stronger relationships and collaborate more effectively.
1. Understand Another Perspective Before You Respond
When I competed in high school debate, a coin toss determined whether I would argue for or against a particular position.
That system forced me to prepare both sides of an argument. It taught me an important lesson: we can understand an idea without agreeing with it.
Many conversations become difficult because we focus on convincing others, winning arguments, or proving that we are right. Instead, we can listen carefully and try to understand why another person holds a particular view.
This approach does not require us to abandon our beliefs. It simply encourages us to understand people before judging them.
When we approach conversations with curiosity rather than hostility, we make it easier to build trust and work together.
One quote captures this idea beautifully: “Be curious, not judgmental.”
AI can also help us practice this skill. We can ask it to explain an opposing viewpoint, identify assumptions in our arguments, or suggest questions that help us understand another person’s reasoning.
We should use AI to prepare for real conversations, not to replace them. By exploring different perspectives before we speak, we can enter difficult discussions with greater patience and understanding.
2. Expand the Pie
Recently, I negotiated with a vendor at a bazaar while shopping for a Turkish coffee pot. We kept going back and forth over the price, but neither of us could reach an agreement.
Instead of continuing to argue, I suggested another arrangement. If the vendor accepted my proposed price, I would encourage my friend to buy something from his shop as well.
The offer created a new opportunity for both of us. The bazaar had many vendors, so bringing another customer could make a real difference to his business.
His attitude immediately changed. He smiled, shook my hand, and accepted my price. My friend eventually bought something from him, too.
This experience taught me to look beyond the question, “How can I win?” and ask, “How can we create more value together?”
Negotiations do not always require one person to lose so that the other can win. Sometimes, we can expand the opportunities available to everyone.
When we shift our mindset from competition to collaboration, we create space for better agreements, stronger relationships, and bigger breakthroughs.
After all, who doesn’t like pie? And wouldn’t we all prefer a bigger slice?
3. Diversify Your Circles
I am Russian Jewish, and my best friend growing up was Lebanese. We spent as much time debating Middle Eastern politics as we did discussing the true origins of hummus.
Our different backgrounds gave us opportunities to challenge each other’s assumptions and learn from different perspectives.
I saw the same advantage while working on a project in Ghana last year. Our team built a mill for a women’s collective, and we brought together engineers and people with business expertise.
Each group contributed something essential. The engineers made sure the solution worked technically, while the business-oriented team considered whether the solution would meet the needs of the people who would use it.
Our differences strengthened the project because each person approached the problem from a different angle.
People often say, “Show me your friends, and I can show you your future.” The people around us influence our beliefs, decisions, and understanding of the world.
When we deliberately build relationships with people who have different experiences, backgrounds, and perspectives, we expand our understanding and improve our ability to collaborate.
We do not need to agree on everything. We need to remain willing to listen, learn, and work together.
4. Show That You Care
I will never forget the day my colleagues took time out of their busy schedules to attend my hackathon presentation.
Their presence meant a great deal to me. They could have spent that time on their own responsibilities, but they chose to show up and support my work.
Their encouragement motivated me to contribute more to the team and offer the same support to others.
Showing that we care may sound simple, but busy schedules often push this habit aside. We become so focused on deadlines, targets, and productivity that we forget to recognize the people working beside us.
People want to feel heard, valued, and understood. A thoughtful message, a sincere question, or a few minutes of undivided attention can make someone feel that they matter.
We do not always need a grand gesture to strengthen a relationship. Often, small acts of kindness make the biggest difference.
Show Up for Someone This Week
I encourage you to choose one interaction that you would normally automate and handle it personally instead.
Reach out to a friend you have not spoken to in a while. Check in with a colleague. Thank someone who has helped you. Give a family member your full attention without looking at your phone.
You do not need to make the interaction complicated. Simply show up, listen, and connect.
These small actions help us practice the human skills that technology cannot replace in our relationships.
Keep the People in Front of You in Focus
As AI becomes more deeply embedded in our daily lives, it becomes easy to let technology dominate our attention and shape our conversations.
We must not allow that convenience to distract us from the people sitting right in front of us.
The people who shape the future will not necessarily be the best engineers or the most persuasive communicators. They will be the people who bring both strengths together.
They will understand complex technology while also understanding the people who use it. They will recognize technical possibilities and consider human needs when deciding how to apply them.
The real opportunity with AI lies not in replacing human interaction, but in reducing unnecessary friction so that we can connect and collaborate more effectively.
People who learn to work well with both machines and other people will be better prepared to build a future that serves us all.
Keep Practicing Your Human Skills
Communication, empathy, negotiation, and collaboration all require practice. If we stop using these skills, we may find it harder to apply them when we need them most.
We can use AI to brainstorm ideas, prepare for challenging conversations, and organize our thoughts. However, we should continue having real conversations, listening carefully, and building relationships ourselves.
Technology should support our ability to work with people, not replace the effort that meaningful relationships require.
My Calculator History and What Really Matters
Yes, my calculator history might embarrass me if I displayed it on a stage. But it has also made me think about a bigger question: Are we giving technology too much responsibility for the parts of life that make us human?
The most important things in life may not appear in our phone apps or in the responses we receive from ChatGPT, Claude, or Copilot.
They may happen right here, when we sit across from another person, listen to their story, understand their perspective, offer support, and build something together.
As AI continues to transform our world, we should keep developing our technical skills while investing just as much effort in our human ones.
Use technology wisely, stay curious, welcome different perspectives, and make time for the people around you. The future will need more than intelligent machines. It will need people who know how to understand, support, and work with one another.
